CALLING CHRISTIAN LEADERS TO ACT IN LOVE TO IMPACT THE LGBT COMMUNITY

THE CHURCH’S GANGRENE

Simon Reading

There are demonic strongholds that are dividing the church on many different subjects and levels. The caring for those within the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community is just one of the many struggles that the Church is confronted with, and they are failing to meet. The Church is failing to meet the spiritual needs of this community because of one dominate spirit that has arrested and taken controlled over the Church – the Spirit of Pride.


The Spirit of Pride is so influential that it is the main source behind most, if not all forms of sin – whether individually or collectively. It is so powerful that it spreads swiftly and is as destructive as gangrene – rotting souls from the inside out – effecting the Church’s primary organ that gives it life. It’s heart, that is, love – the love for things that God loves.


Over time, the Church has allowed their hearts to become harder toward the things that God loves – that God wants to save, to rescue (2 Peter 3:9). Instead of fulfilling the command in which Christ has called us to fulfilled (Matthew 7:12; Mark 12:29-31), the Church has opted for a position of dominance, power, and authority over God’s commandment of love. This has resulted in the Church positioning themselves in direct opposition to God’s purpose, plans and will through many of his servant’s callings and instructions on the earth (Acts 5:35-39). The Church is the main source being used to hinder the movement and blessings of God’s kingdom reaching its climax on the earth. Yes! It is God’s people – their disunity, divisiveness, lying and slanderous behaviors that are infecting the heart of the Church and spreading like poisonous gangrene from one person to the next, until it infiltrates an entire congregation. Pulsating from one congregation to the next. And through its root, the Spirit of Pride, it corrupts a person or congregation’s heart, which ultimately manifests itself in the form of slander, which birth life to the Spirit of Confusion.


WHEN CHURCH LEADERS SLANDER OTHER PEOPLE GROUPS

Kevin Cauley

When a person, like a pastor, slanders another person or people group, like the LGBT community, by making false statements, that person (the pastor) causes other people to have a bad opinion of someone or some group, like the LGBT community. This Spirit of Pride, in harmony with the Spirit of Confusion, creates a concoction within the body of Christ that spills over from one person to the next, causing an entire congregation to form a slanderous image of the LGBT community from indecent jokes, jesters or language spoken from the pulpit or in a small group setting. For example, one well-respected Prophet of God said from the pulpit while addressing the issue of homosexuality, “All a gay man needs is some time with a pretty girl to straighten him right up.” How far from the truth and a slanderous statement that is. What a broken gay man needs, is not a pretty girl who is incapable of healing him from his brokenness. What he needs is an encounter with Christ, and loving support from a strong, healthy, spirit-driven congregation and leaders who are willing to walk with him through his process from brokenness to freedom. He needs from the Church to do the one thing Christ has called the Church to do – LOVE (John 13:34-35).


But, the Church has withheld genuine Christ-like love from anyone who does not meet their preferred standard of living. From anyone who does not fix the appearance or livelihood of how they see themselves. Forsaking that we are to see as God sees and not as a man (Isaiah 55:8-9; 1 Samuel 16:7). Because the Church has masked their judgmental views by labeling it as an act of love, the words at Matthew 15:18-19 are timely. It reads, “the words you speak come from the heart – that’s what defiles you. For from the heart comes evil THOUGHTS, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, LYING, and SLANDER. These are what defiles you….”


Now hear me clearly. I am not trying to defile any of my brothers based on false statements or slanderous comments they have made about gay men from God’s pulpit – God’s earthly throne. For instance, the Prophet’s comment I mentioned earlier, I still follow his ministry and would follow him to the ends of the earth, despite this slanderous statement he made. Because I know God is with him. But, he erred in his judgment. He erred in the way he used God’s earthly throne. He sided on the side of error in his comment, which I hope he has repented of. I believe this brother misspoke in his own arrogance and left a negative impression, a false narrative among his congregates. For some members of his congregation, he either reinforced or planted the seed of pride and confusion within their hearts. Which will over time, fester and spread among his members until his entire congregation’s hearts have become harder toward the LGBT community. Resulting in what? Resulting in that congregation inability to effectively help to plant, water, and help grow the hearts of the LGBT community in their respective community toward God and the things of God. His comment(s) instead, shuts the door of the Good News in the spirit and the nature realms from infiltrating and spreading to the people in the LGBT community in his respective territory. Further delaying the coming of God’s Kingdom to its fullest. Remember, it is God’s desire that no one is destroyed (2 Peter 3:9). And yet, comments such as these works against God’s purpose, plans, and will. For example, in another church, a senior pastor stated from the pulpit, when addressing homosexuality, that he was told by a male who supposed to have been freed from homosexuality – that ALL gays have hundreds of sexual partners. It was explained from the pulpit as if this was not an exception to the rule. This was normal behavior within the LGBT community. The number that this pastor gave was 500 partners or more. This half-truth can leave the wrong impression about ALL members within the LGBT community. This statement left some of the pastor’s church members believing that EVERY gay and lesbian live such a wild, irresponsible and uncontrollable lifestyle. Far from the truth for individuals who choose to live this life. Most within the LGBT community is involved in a monogamous relationship – a single sexual partner during a period of time. Some even practices celibacy. However, the impression that this pastor left among his congregates as it relates to members of the LGBT community, caused some of his members to lump ALL LGBT members with other harmful sexual perversive groups.


GOD IS CALLING ALL LEADERS TO ACT IN LOVE




Madison Press

Do you see a pattern here? When leaders do not speak, act, instruct, or teach to its congregates from God’s perspective or position concerning specific groups, our personal opinions and solutions are offered instead, which can cause more harm and work against God’s purpose, plans and will for humanity. We offered our own evil thoughts or judgmental views and cover them with such terms as love, which deepens the wedge of God’s people from people they are called to love, care for and serve. When we offer our own evil thoughts or judgmental views which can mislead God’s people and cause many to focus only on the speck that is in the eyes of members in the LGBT community – their shortcomings, their sins (Matthew 7:1-5). Jesus had a name for this type of behavior and attitude. “Hypocrites!” (Matthew 7:5)


We as Christians are acting hypocritical when it comes to our acts and actions toward the LGBT community. We are so focused on their sins and immediately correcting and converting them, instead of acknowledging that


1. They are just a sinful as we are. Romans 3:23 says everyone EXCEPT Christians…. NO! It says for EVERYONE has sinned. We ALL fall short of God’s glorious standard. But, we present the Good News to the LGBT community as if they are filthy, and we are not.


2. We misrepresent the love of God for this group through our dirty jokes and jesters; our misstatement of statistical facts about people within this community; lies we knowingly or unknowingly, spend about this community, especially about people God has rescued from this lifestyle; and the slanderous words we speak against them.


God wants to put an end to anything that is hindering the forward progress of the climax of his Kingdom coming to its fullness here on earth. Therefore, he wants his leaders to STOP IT! Stop tearing down the LGBT community through our words and actions and build this community up by means of the love of Christ and the Good News of his Kingdom. There is a time and place to address acts that are not of God, but we have to remember, we are called to love. To focus on loving them. Loving them does not require to point out and focus on their sin. Trust me. When you genuinely established a loving and trusting relationship with members within the LGBT community, God will create healthy opportunities for you as his servant to address their sins in the most loving and productive ways.


So, I offer up this challenge and warning to ALL Church leaders, especially anyone who leads a Bible study group, ministry leaders, and God’s prophets, apostles and worship leaders, become an advocate as Christ for the LGBT community. Follow the example Christ set for us as described in James chapters 3, 4, and 5. Apply these principles in our dealings and interactions with the LGBT community and through our conversations about the LGBT community to the congregations and people we influence.


• Keep away from judgmental ways, views, and comments against them


• Avoid boasting our plans or perspective about them and see them as Christ does


• Patiently endure their shortcomings as Christ has yours


• Offer up mountain-like powerful prayers for the LGBT community


• Add value to the Kingdom of God by helping to restore members of the LGBT who have wandered from the Truth


• Help all members of the LGBT community to reconcile with Christ through acts of love that will help to transform their lives

• Use God’s throne, the pulpit, to build them up and give them hope for the promises God has promised them. Yet, when God does calls us to tear down the mindset and heart conditions that directly related to this group, stay away from obscene jokes or comments, name-calling (i.e. dyke, butch, faggot, or other belittling names) avoid misleading facts that you cannot prove or provide accurate evidence for, and don’t share outright lies or half-truths?

A Stimulating Story for the LGBT Community, Their Families & The Church

SURRENDERING: A BLUEPRINT OF MY LIFE is a stimulating story that will transform the lives of gays, lesbians, parents of the gays and lesbians, and the Body of Christ.

Some members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community are soul-searching. They are deeply pondering some serious questions about their lifestyle choice, but not finding real answers nor solutions. Deaidre Newby and Felicia Crawford understand this first hand. They personally understand what it is like to live a homosexual life, but one may not be sure if this the life you are called to live. Is this who you really are and who God created you to be?

No one can answer these real-life questions better than an individual who has actually lived this life. Too many in the Church have failed to meet the emotional and spiritual needs of those that are genuinely soul searching because too many lack the sensitivity, and the understanding that is deeply rooted in this community. This is why voices like Deaidre and Felicia are so desperately needed to be heard not only throughout the sealed walls of the LGBT community, but also within our Church community.

Deaidre and Felicia’s stories can set people on the right path, enable them to rethink their methodology and life direction, provide them better options and how to successfully overcome sexual challenges.

Want to hear their story? Want to know how you or your loved one can successfully overcome such challenges? Contact us today, and let's take this life journey together to discover the real you.

Stay tune, new website coming soon.

Why Is Homosexuality So Difficult To Talk About? Why Is It So Complex?

Why is Homosexuality so difficult to talk about? Because no one, especially those who live a homosexual life, wants to or don’t know how to or don’t know where to begin to address the complexities that surround such a lifestyle. It’s problematic because no one wants to really address its root cause or causes.

For some parents, there are two factors that play into why it is difficult for them to address the root cause of their adult child’s homosexuality.

1. FEAR. One of a parent biggest fear is to learn years after the fact that a family member, or a family friend, or even a stranger has molested their child, and the parent had no idea of the incident or incidents. For these innocent parents, this is like Nightmare on Elm Street. These parents were clueless about the things that were happening to their child. And now, years later, their child has opted to live out his or her same-sex attraction due to the traumatic experience of their molestation or other forms of abuses or neglect that has gone unaddressed. This is like a slap in the face, a sucker punch in the gut for parents who don’t understand their child’s lifestyle choice. It throws most parents into an emotional spiral because they are confused by their child’s choice and their hands are tied to do anything about it.
    
   So, for most of these types of parents, it's easier to choose not to rock the boat in an attempt to help their adult child who has succumbed to homosexuality as a coping mechanism. It’s just easier to avoid it, not talk about it, to look the other way, to not address their own as well as their child’s demons, their suffering, their pain, or their issues as it relates to childhood traumatic experiences. Yet, deep inside every parent, they want to know. But, FEAR prevents them from dealing with the underlying causes because no one wants to experience or deal with the pain that will surely follow. Either way, the parent is deeply wounded inside because they feel they have missed something. Resulting in them failing to protect their children from traumatic experiences that could have possibly been avoided if they were more attentive; if they saw and responded properly to all the warning signs. But, somehow, they missed it, and there is no way to go back in time to change or correct it. There is no easy way to fix it.
    
2. Well, to be honest, there is no easy way to express this second scenario as it relates to this next type of parents. In this scenario, there are two types of parents in this category.
   
   
   1. Parents who are aware that their child is being abused by a family member, family friend or suspect some person is harming their child, but does nothing to investigate or stop it. Maybe that parent was a victim themselves. Or because of the era in which that parent was raised has warped their minds so that he or she thinks that such predatory or abusive behaviors are normal, acceptable, ok. So, they do nothing to stop the trauma that is disrupting their child’s upbringing.
   2. Then there are those parents who are the perpetrators. They are the one that is victimizing their child – causing the physical and or emotional trauma against their child.
      
      
      In both of these cases, the vicious cycle that is created is to keep the actions of the perpetrator a secret. As a result, the innocent – the child, suffers because of the sins of all the adults involved – that is the perpetrator and those who are aware or witnesses the abuse. It is a common practice to pretend that the abuse is not happening and hope that the child will get through it – weather the storm. But, what is so weird about these two scenarios is that, when the child who was the victim turns out gay, or a lesbian, or bisexual, or transgender, no one seems to understand why. Why is that? It is because it’s easier to say, they were born that way. It’s the fault of genetics, which cannot be controlled. Then to say, it’s the father’s fault, who sexually abused his child for years. The fathers or other individuals who commit such acts are capable of controlling their proclivity behaviors, but they chose to act them out. Or it’s the mother who is part a contributor to, their child’s homosexual outcome because the mother failed to act, failed to be proactive, failed to protect or be combative on behalf of their child. Either way, the secret sins of a family member, family friend or stranger has led to the parents’ child to experience childhood traumas that created and the root cause of identity confusion and identity crisis, which most likely has led to same-sex attraction.

The factors that make homosexuality, complex is because (1) no one wants to be transparent and talk about truths. (2) No one wants to be held accountable for their part in their child’s lifestyle choice. Nor does the one practicing homosexuality wants to hold him or herself accountable for allowing their past to drive themselves into such a life. Those who are living this life don’t want to confront their past pains because it hurts too much. And for the few that have done so, it's not an easy path to take. In my case, I have experienced that most will deny your claims in one form or another. Depending on how much evidences are already public knowledge. Many will do everything they can to prevent you from obtaining your personal healing from your past, which, if you let it, can further perpetuate your pain and emotional uncertainties. Family members, some friends, and others may mock and criticize you for trying to properly deal with your past and block your efforts to confront the perpetrator if that’s what God requires you to do in order to obtain your healing. (Yes, people will continue to protect the perpetrator even long after the fact). For instance, for me, God encouraged and directed me to address my past childhood abuses primarily through my writing – books and social media. The backlash I received from some family members, and especially from THE CHURCH was ridiculous. Why such a reaction? Because when one person within a region is bold enough to speak openly about such matters and about those involved and the contributors, it inspires others (those who have remained silent for far too long about their family secrets) to act. Eventually, the boldness of one will cause a bandwagon effect, beginning a chain reaction that causes others to speak up, which leads to the exposure of people and their sins and bad behaviors. People don’t want that, including people in the Church. There is darkness all around us causing havoc in innocent people’s lives – inside and outside the Church. And God, a God of justice cannot allow it to continue as is. God’s word says one thing that God cannot do. GOD CANNOT LIE (Hebrews 6:18; Titus 1:2; Numbers 23:19; John 8:44). And because he cannot lie, he must respond to what he says about himself in his word.

“FOR ALL THAT IS SECRET WILL EVENTUALLY BE BROUGHT INTO THE OPEN, AND EVERYTHING THAT IS CONCEALED WILL BE BROUGHT TO LIGHT AND MADE KNOWN TO ALL” (Luke 8:17) For all those who are living a homosexual life, or questioning your sexuality, please note what is said in Luke – “EVENTUALLY”. Sooner or later, at God’s appointed time, our personal trauma will have its day in God’s Court of Justice. And in that season, God will do what is said at Luke and bring about your vindication and justice. He will expose things and bring about justice in his heavenly court against the perpetrator(s), those who knew and did nothing, and those who suspect and choose to look the other way. There is an accounting for all sins because God must respond especially to unrepented sins that violated your innocence. For the past 3 years, my own past had reached its climax in God’s heavenly court and things are right now being exposed and revealed that has been kept in secret for far too long. Unfortunately, more children over the years have been hurt by the same perpetrator that violated me because too many family members, friends, and others of the perpetrator did not warn the next victim of the danger. But, there will be an accounting for those acts too.

But, what God is most concern about is you and your healing. He is knocking and tugging at many of your all hearts, guaranteeing you that Justice is coming. Justice is coming. Don’t give up on him because your healing, your restoration, your Justice is coming.

So, is there hope for those children, who are now adults, and living a homosexual life due to their childhood traumatic experience? YES! God is a God of justice, and we have to be consciously aware of that fact. And because of his justice, every living being must one-day answer for all sinful acts they have committed. Now, to us who were victims of the perpetrators, it may seem that God isn’t answering. He is not answering our outcries for justice. Therefore, he doesn’t care. Or, he doesn’t see. And even for some, you may have dismissed God altogether. Believing there is no way there can be a God after all you have been through and experienced. Take comfort in my words and rest to sure that God is at work on your behalf. He will bring about a fair hearing and justice on your behalf at his appointed time. He has seen all the injustices that were done to you. He saw every act, and he responded with great anger. But, God is a God of love. So, his acts of justice must also encompass his love. Which is why God allowing time for the wrongdoer to expose his or her own sin, get the help they need, repent and completely abandon their sinful behaviors. Either way, in God’s due time, God chooses the right time to bring your case to its completion and to bring about your vindication and justice. God will hold every unrepented culprit, unrepented individuals who were aware of such offensive sins and unrepented witnesses to such sins accountable for not acting righteously on your behalf. And for those who do repent and abandon such horrendous sins, they will have to live with the consequences of their sins that would naturally occur throughout their remaining days of their life for such sinful acts. God does not shield us from our wrongful decisions. We do still feel the effects of bad decisions, even after we have repented and  abandoned such behaviors.

GOD HEARS THE CHATTER BEHIND CLOSED DOORS AND HE WILL ANSWER

I think I need to make my position very clear for some. In God's kingdom, God did not call me from out of my mess to shepherd his flock of people - the Church. That's what we have prophets, pastors, elders, and bishops for.


When I accepted Jesus invitation to turn my life around and return to my faith, he called me to ministry to help prepare and reshape the hearts and minds of the LGBT community. So that, in my effort to sow seeds, to water their hearts and minds and in tur...n GOD makes my efforts in tending to their souls, he will make their desire for him grow. In turn, IF, if they respond to the Good News and see what the Good News has done for me, THEN, then they will return or for the first time, come to GOD'S HOUSE to be SHEPHERED by God's leaders - the prophets, the pastors, the elders, and the bishops.

I am not trying to speak directly to the Church. However, the things I speak to help the members within the LGBT that receive my words, does at some point, directly impact the Church. And IF the CHURCH don't prepare their hearts and minds to be ready for the great harvest that GOD is about to bring about as it relates to the LGBT community. And IF they, the CHURCH keeps neglecting and turning away these individuals FROM GOD'S HOUSE, then there will be blood on those leaders' hands as Ezekiel clearly speaks about in his book.


As the Church, we CANNOT JUST yell SIN, SIN - ONLY verbally warning people of their sins and then wipe our hands and say I've done my part. Matthew commands that we are required TO TEACH AND MAKE DISCIPLES (Matthew 28:18-20).


I'm doing my part. I am running into every alleyway, storefront, dangerous areas, mountain tops, putting myself in harm's way TO PREACH GOD'S KINGDOM to the LGBT community. But God is asking - WHERE IS MY CHURCH!! WHERE ARE MY TEACHERS!! WHERE ARE PRAYER WARRIORS!! WHERE ARE MY PROPHETS!! WHERE ARE MY HEALERS!! WHERE ARE MY SHEPHEREDS!! WHERE ARE THEY! Who are bindING up the wounds of my broken children that I AM bringing out.


I send my children into retrieved the lost. And come out with plenty. Good job my well and faithful slave. But they turn to the left. They turn to right, and they have no where to lay these weak, broken souls.


I don't have to answer to God for not doing my part constantly. But, there are many who are sitting inside the four walls of the Church and behind the pulpit that will have answer to God. WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED YOU TO TEND TO THE LOST SHEEP FROM OUT OF WILDERNESS? MY SERVANT BROUGHT HIM OR HER TO YOU AND YOU WERE IN HIDING, YOUR LOCK THE DOORS OF MY HOUSE, AND YOU WERE NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.


IJS!!! I don't know who God is mad at the moment. And is speaking behind closed doors. But I am feeling God's rage at some PEOPLE that is challenging him directly at the moment and grieving the Holy Spirit. Be careful (Acts 5:39). The warning has been set in motion by God himself.

I HAVE A SAD STORY TO SHARE



“... These stories did not have to end this way. There is a better way, if the Church will set aside their pride and open their hearts and church’s doors to make room for the broken within the LGBT community....”

To read the full story, click here.

 

Cennarium

... Repair Broken Men - Sexual Abuse....

Sexual abuse just don't involve girls, but boys too. Left to fend their own wounds can leave permanent scars that last a lifetime.


But, there is hope, healing and restoration. Many fail to realize that healing can only begin if you are willing to confront it's true root. Meaning, it was not until my mid-thirties before I was willing to confront the source of my deep wounds, which stemmed from my childhood abuses.


I only grained real freedom, peace and healing until I conquered the lion from my past, my own demons, and holding myself accountable for my emotional stability. As well as allowing God complete control over my healing, which led me to speaking openly and publicly about my past pain, struggles, addictions, self-destructive ways to cope, and those who were contributors and accountable for my pain. It's by your testimony where your strongholds lose its power over you (Revelation 12:11).

#Sexualabuse #mystory #healing #rootcause

SECRETS - MY FIRST CHALLENGE



MARGARITA SARRI / GETTY

Transparency is difficult for most. I get it. You don't want most people knowing your business because most will not take care of your content properly. But keeping unhealthy secrets is just as dangerous.

One of the first thing God challenged me with after I rededicated my life to Christ was this.


"Don't keep any secret. You must live a life of transparency. For your life depends upon it."

It was difficult to receive that from God, especially to live it out at first. For at that point, I've learned to live most of my life in secrecy. My childhood had taught me two things. You never put family secrets in the streets, no matter what. And no one life is more important than keeping family secrets. Look around the world. Isn't this a fact of life for EVERY family in the world? Inside and outside the Church. And look where it has led us. Look at the brokenness of so many families. The brokenness of so many adults that in turn are creating more broken families. No one is immune.


And the only real cure is the advice God spoke to me when I rededicated my life to him - NO SECRETS. LIVE A LIFE OF TRANSPARENCY. NO MATTER WHAT OR WHO YOU MAY LOSE IN THE PROCESS. And don't tie yourself to people who want to keep secrets.


Am I saying all secrets are bad? NOPE. But y'all know what kinds of secrets I'm talking about.
Am I saying you should share everything? NOPE! The only person's that can write an accurate book about me, is God, my best friend Felicia, my two children and my granddaughter Talia, if she could read and write. Because they see me from every aspect a person can see a person. All others can only write with distorted lenses due to their lack of wisdom and insight into my personal life and character. They could only write about 10 percent of my life story. The things God either asks or tells me to share publicly.


I don't share the things I do to get likes, to build a fan base, to be liked (in fact, most things I say causes me to be hated), to get back at someone, to be vindictive, etc. I have a divine conviction and desire to change the dysfunction that is rooted in our family cultural that carries a spare that contains a poisonous venom on it's tip called secrets. Secrets comes in the dark as well as in the light to kill, steal and destroy each one of us individually, which leads to the destruction of our family unit.


Now, I may lose every one of my family members to fulfill the things I know what God has called me to do. (Luke 12:51-53; 48). But, when I know from personal experience what secrets has done to me and how it has torn up my childhood family and seen its continue effects into the next generation and possibly the following, I will be foolish to continue the vicious cycle through my lineage of children. Someone has to stand up and stop the madness. And for some reason God has chosen me.

The Clash - Our First Film Project

Copyright 2017. All rights reserved

We have a lot of great products that are being developed. But, I am really excited about our first film project. I have worked on short film projects for quite some time. So, to finally see one of my secret passions start to blossom on a larger scale is just exuberating.

Late yesterday, we finished the first round of script edits for SCENE 1. As I reflect upon the reenactment scene of Felicia’s story, it brings me to tears to see how far we both have come; how God is using our stories to help so many; how we have achieved what so many believe is impossible – a true Christian friendship that is immeasurable to most.

I can’t wait to see this project completed and see how God will touch so many families, individuals, churches, and communities with our personal testimonies. Glory be to God. -- Executive Director, Deaidre Newby

To receive the latest updates for this project, follow the following Facebook or Twitter pages: Deaidre Newby Ministry, Kamby Management, Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life, Kamby Management Group, Michelle De, or Kamby. I am also on Instagram.

Copyright 2017. Deaidre Newby. All rights reserved.

#Lesbians  #FormalLifestyle  #LGBT   #TrueDeliverance   #Healing   #NewFilmProject

It's Easier To Believe In The Gay Gene Theory Than....

There are some that strongly believe that environmental factors such parental upbringing or a lack there of does not play a role in one choosing a homosexual life. It's easier to believe that there exists a gay gene that explains why one is born this way, then one's willingness to search and face the true root cause behind their life decision - brokenness.


And yet, as God is bringing many men and women out of this life, or at least challenge themselves to take a serious look at it, there is a single common thread in each of their stories that ties back into their lifestyle choice. Iyanla Vanzant is one of the very few life coaches out there that are addressing this issue in the reality to its true root causes and helping many to reclaim their lives. Her season 4, episode 413 of Iyanla Fix My Life is a must see concerning this topic (https://goo.gl/pYSyf3).

Just to add, I am full in excitement about my second book I'm writing on this topic which takes a more scientific approach in addressing many of these theories that are out there. Many people's eyes will be opened. To learn more or receive the latest updates, continue to periodically visit this blog or follow my Facebook book or ministry page or my Twitter page.

HOW DID YOUR MOM FEEL ABOUT YOUR BOOK?

Did your mom read your book? Considering the content in which you wrote your book, how did your mom feel about it? And what is your relationship with your mother today, were some questions I was asked.

I will address all three questions, but let me say this first. Next, to my best friend, Felicia Crawford, my mother was and is my biggest and most supportive advocate. Just like any other mother-daughter relationship, my relationship with my mother is not perfect. And we don’t always see things eye to eye and may not always take the same approach or direction in handling or managing life. But, I am very content with where we are in the process of overcoming some very challenging and deep-seeded hurt.

Now, to answer the questions.

Did my mother read my book? Yes. My parents were the first people I sent a copy of my book to. In fact, they got together and decided to become investors in my project and paid for the printing cost of my book.

So yes, she has read it. My youngest sister has read it too. I have been told by my brother that my father has read it, but I have not had any indications whether that is the case or not. My father has not brought up the book and its not in my spirit to push it either. And to my knowledge, my brother has not and I really don’t expect he will.

Considering the content in which you wrote your book, how did your mom feel about it? Let me start with my sister. My sister and I were on a family trip sharing a hotel room when she brought up her thoughts about my book. She wished I would have left some details out concerning my father. But, other than that, she felt concerning the things she was aware of that it painted an accurate picture.

As far as my mom, to have such a conversation was very painful for her. And I get and respect that. Our initial and most in-depth conversation about my book took place in her home with my best friend present. That was our first heart to heart conversation ever about the matter. I allowed her to do most of the talking because I was in a different place as it related to healing than my mom. So, to me, this was more about her expressing herself and airing out her emotions.

My mom had two perspectives about the book. Either, she didn’t agree with something I said. Or, she didn’t recall certain things that were mentioned. For me, that was ok. The book was for me, to help others who were or found themselves in a similar situation, and it was from my perspective. As far as I was concerned, if my mother was writing the same story, it would come from a different perspective. That wouldn’t mean hers was wrong and mine was more right. It only would mean that we encounter the same experience from different angles. In the same way, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, recorded similar accounts concerning Jesus, but there are a few variations in the way the story about Jesus was told. But their story carries a constant theme and validates one another.

I don’t remember how long that conversation took place. But, in the end, I told my mom, I love her and I just want all of us to heal – whatever that looks like for each one of us. My mom’s final thoughts were that she wished the book didn’t have to be written at all. But, if I felt that was what I needed to do in order to heal, she completely understood. And then my best friend, Felicia spoke some powerful and encouraging words to my mom to reassure her that I had moved on. I’m only doing what God has called me to do to help others (Revelation 12:11). Felicia closed by reassuring my mother that I have forgiven her and my dad years ago, and then she shared some other loving, encouraging words with my mom that I know was very helpful.

Final question. What is my relationship with my Mom today? Well, prior to my book, I rarely reached out to my mom. In my twenties, I probably tried too hard to please my mom, and it may have worked for her, but it made me miserable. Because to please her, I was being someone I wasn’t. Emotional, my thirties were extremely hard for me. I had no real life direction. By this point, mostly everyone I had encountered was trifling and betrayed me on one level or another. And too many family members were no different. Either they were non-supportive and acted one way in my face while spreading half-truths or outright lies behind my back. And my mom was not helping during my most troubling period. Which resulted in me repeating something I saw and learned from her during my teen years. I isolated myself from everyone and everything. The difference was I poured myself into my children and used them as an excuse as to why I couldn’t interact with others…. I will admit. During my thirties, my mother became more of a target, the blame for my lack of success or failures. I even wished either I was never brought into this world or was born into a different family. In my eyes, my mother was to blame for why my siblings and I were not close. I blame her for drawing a wedge between my siblings and I and even our children. A mother was supposed to be the cornerstone of every family, and my mother was not that. I was not a fan at all of my mom during this period.

But then God showed up and spoke life into my dead soul. He gave me a new perspective on not only my situation but my mother’s. Then God encouraged me to write my book. I believe my writing that book changed everything for my mom and me. After our initial talk, my mom started calling and texting more. At some point, I realized for the first time in her life she was showing a sincere interest. She slowly began to tell me she loved me regularly. She even started to share some very painful and hurtful experience of her past, which provided me with much needed insight, understanding of her makeup during my childhood and helped me to feel more sympathetic toward her. My mom put forth a conscious effort for more than a year before I finally got to a place where I felt SAFE with her to initiate calling or texting her to check up on her. To tell her I love her. To have any desire to even want to know how she was doing. To care.


It was a process. But that process would not have happened if I was not willing to tell my truth without holding anything back in my book, Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life. I would say today that God has both of us where we need to be in the process of healing.

I Remember Blaming God For My Pain

Whether you believe in God or not, I believe most of us do believe that God is all knowing and has the ability to impede or prevent anything if he chooses. So, why doesn’t he? Why doesn’t he act in times of sinful offenses like sexual abuse, etc.? 

For years, I remember carrying anger and bitterness toward God because I couldn’t understand where was he throughout my childhood sexual, physical or emotional abuse. Why didn’t he stop those who took advantage of me and my innocence’s? Why did he not punish those who knew or suspected what was going on, or those who stood idle and did little or nothing to protect me? I questioned what kind of God was he supposed to be that lets something as evil as this to happen and do nothing. 

Lori Dixon



I remember, for a little over 7 years, I abandoned God. I despised the ground he walked on. I stopped believing and blamed him for everything that had gone wrong in my life. I blamed him for all the madness that I saw going on around me in the world. It was his fault. He is to blame because he did nothing to stop it.

 

That was my logic. I wouldn’t declare that I had become an atheist, but I was heading in that direction. For years, I had allowed my personal experience and pain to trap me into a web of lies about God. Causing me to misdirect the blame, who was really at fault for the destruction I was exposed to at an early age. The true protagonists in my story remind hidden for many years.

The problem really lies in my perspective – my disposition to see what was taking place behind the scene on my behalf – things and revelations I would not be privy to until years later as God revealed them to me through people and confirmed visions. The mistake I made early on was that I never allowed God to answer any of my disturbing questions. I never sought him or gave him the opportunity to answer the whys, how come, where was he. I never listened to his voice. I never allowed him to show me what he was really doing to intervene in the tragedies that had happened in my life. I just assumed he didn’t care. He allowed these things to happen, even though he could have stopped it. That he was no different than the people around me.

 

Two decades will pass before those questions would be answered for me. And when they were, I realized, I spent a good part of my life harboring anger, resentment, and bitterness for NOTHING. That I could have prevented so many of my self-afflicted scars if I would have waited long enough to hear God’s voice. If I would have allowed him to show me the truth behind the scenes. If I would have allowed him to unrattled the lies that Satan had tricked me to believe about God and his role in my plight.

I want to share a segment of this unrattling of lies in hopes that it will help someone to uncover the truth in their tragic story.

There were a few scriptures I remembered God showed me to unrattled the lies I had come to believe within. The latter part of 2 Peter 3:9 says “He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” There were many people who played a part into my plight. My stepfather who took advantage of me and sexually abused me. My parents who did not properly protect me, nor helped me to properly heal from my experience. The secrets others kept, whether they knew or suspected. Those who were in a position of power to act and didn’t. Some religious leaders who were aware and stood by and did nothing – they washed their hands and excused themselves from getting involved. The legal system who did not implement nor enforced stiff enough laws and penalties when the crime was uncovered. The Church for looking the other way and did not provide proper covering and grace for me nor my family that was broken from the experience. There was a long list of people and agencies God named. Too long to name here.

 

Then God showed me where at different stages before the abuse took place, during the abuse, and afterward, how he sent different individuals to change and motivated people’s heart to either do the right thing, to help or to influence one to change their sinful ways. The Apostle James was right in saying, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin (James 4:17, ESV). The Apostle Mark adds, “What comes out of a person is what defiles, (NOT GOD BUT), him. For from within, out of the man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness….” (Mark 7:20-23, ESV) The latter part of verse 23 nails it home. “All these evil things come from WITHIN….” There it is. The answer I’ve been searching for all these years for my misdirected blame. IT WAS NEVER GOD! But, all those God had named to me, who all played a part directly or indirectly in my abuse. Those who knew and did little or nothing to correct the matter in acting out in the name of justice. Those who kept the secret and stood by and looked the other way. God was demanding and working for JUSTICE on my behalf. 

And yet, through it all, it was and is God’s desires for all those involved to repent. Genuinely repent and turn away from ever repeating the same sin, the same act again – whatever their roles were (2 Peter 3:9). God was looking and trying to create a situation where everyone who had sinned against me could be corrected and saved. That is always his desire.

 

There is always a season for everyone to repent and to make a wrong a right, which is why verse 9 of 2 Peter 3 says, “… God isn’t really being slow….” Not being slow about what? In my situation, he was not being slow in acting out on my behalf. Although I could not see what all he was doing behind the scene. As soon as the evil seed was planted in my stepfather’s heart, God went to war on my behalf to prevent it. Remember what God said to Cain, Able’s brother before Cain murdered Able? God warned Cain that sin was crouching at his door and that he needed to master it – get control over it before it took control over him (Genesis 4:6). Through God’s word, he has always warned men and women many times over before they act out sinfully. And the case with my stepfather was no different. God was working behind the scenes. I learned later that there were individuals who didn’t know directly what my stepfather was up to, but God sent them to warn him to stop it. But, he, my stepfather, was too far gone and didn’t heed the warnings. It has only been recently that I learned that eventually, several of my uncles got together and showed up at my stepfather’s job and put a fear in him that finally freed my family from this man’s grip. Lord knows the difference it would have made in my spirit if I knew what they had done during that time.

There was so much evidence God has given me to show me that he was there, working things out on my behalf; although, I was unaware of how hard God was working to prevent and later free me from the hands of the snake that was choking the life out of my family (John 10:10). And to this very day, we all are still suffering in one way or another from that one act of sin against my flesh.

 

And let me add, at that time, I didn’t understand that even though I was the main victim in my story, I was not the only person that God was trying to save. God is a God of justice. He loves everyone. Everyone, no matter what role they play in my story. The perpetrator, no matter his or her crime. The protagonist. The antagonist. The tempter. The skeptics, etc. All the people who played a role in my tragic story, God wants to save them all. And he has been and is doing the same in your traumatic story too.

God is there. Right there in the mix fighting for you. Trying to unrattle the lies and uncover the truth to rescue and defend you. But he cannot ignore his love for justice for all in the process.

Photo CR: Lori Dixon

Redemptive Love

I have been spending some time interviewing different experts in the social science field as I am writing my second edition book. In addition to interviewing professional experts, I have been reading a lot of historical material relating to scientific case studies and experiments done by medical professionals, scientists, and some government agencies, concerning their ongoing search to find and confirm some biological, genetic or hereditary link or proof of the gay gene theory. Some of the content is really inhumane.

But, as I read and research and write in my book, my goal is to do so with no biases. Knowing that we all have been created by God with FREE WILL to choose (Deuteronomy 30:19; Joshua 24:15). We have a divine right to accept the truth or reject it. That is our Godly privilege – our birth right.

I will admit, I have made some bad choices over my lifetime. But, I have recouped from them

Photo CR: Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

because of four factors – giving the time I needed, maturity, and God’s love and patience. As a result, I have grabbed hold and claimed my redemption through Jesus’ shredded blood.

But, it saddens me to see that too many of us can’t see the power of love. Divine love that when given enough time, it will do what is impossible (1 Corinthians 3:6-9; Mark 10:27). All we have to do is consistently show the REDEMPTIVE LOVE OF CHRIST. And allow time to take its course. But, unconsciously, many of us believe that Christ is not enough and therefore, try to force our judgmental views on what we feel people should be doing now.

Yes, time is short, but in dealing with others, there is still a process that we can’t ignore nor speed up. Christ has the power and the love we all need to overcome any sinful challenges. All we have to do is be receptive, and show them the way to the well. Fed them. Invite them. Clothed them. Take care of them. Visit with them. Include them, not exclude them. (Matthew 25:35-36). These simple Bible principle at Matthew 25 can be applied to all walks of life. Whether you are my brother or sister in the faith. Agnostics. Atheist. Homosexual, or whoever or whatever you believe. Love is the redemptive power that we all need. Mercy is the redemptive power that we all need. Grace is the redemptive power that we all need.

Jesus was inclusive concerning all. And he showered many with an abundance of love, grace, and mercy. I’m just not sure how we have gotten so far from such a simple and practical Bible principle (Matthew 25:35-36; John 13:34-35; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 Corinthian 16:14; Matthew 22:39-40). LORD, have mercy on us, the Church.  

Worship Before Work

Worship is an essential part of everything we do. Before work. During work. Before taking on any project. While working individually or working collectively. WE MUST WORSHIP! We must praise and thank the One who gave us the ability to work with our hands, who gifted us with our talents for the sole purpose to worship him.



An anonymous person asked... how did you get to this point?

An anonymous person asked this question concerning my deliverance from homosexuality.

"How did you get to this point"?

To answer that question is not as simple as you think. Instead of writing a long blog about how I did get to this point in my life. I thought it would be easier if I shared this excerpt from one of my recent talking points.



The Beautiful Whispers of a Father

Resurrected! Resurrected is what I kept hearing in my spirit as I moved around in my office worshipping to shift the atmosphere. I felt an urging to look up the word “resurrected” in the Webster dictionary. The second definition leaped off the page as I read it. “To bring to view, attention or use again.”

Then my mind started to be flooded with my thoughts and images and I heard this beautiful voice of glory charmed in to speak.

 

“When you die to self in order to do my will, you discovered a new fulfilling way to live – that is to live in the Spirit. 

 

Princess Warriors Reign Real

There you found your peace because you no longer live for self, which looks out for one’s own will and desire. But the Spirit changes you from the inside out. Causing everything within you and around you to change. To bend. To yield. To shift. To be convicted. Because you have become a new person in Christ. The old you no longer exist.” 

 

Then, he takes me to Romans 7:6 and 2 Corinthians 5:17.

My spirit confirmed, agreed with what I read. For there is a level of peace within me that I can’t explain. Peace has become dominion – my dwelling place. He, meaning Christ, has written prosperity upon my forehead, for everything I touch turns to gold. It must prosper. He engraved surrender upon my heart because I have given my heart only to him. He calls me his queen, for he has elevated me to heights I could never have dream on my own. He calls me DESIRED because while so many have rejected me, he has proclaimed my name throughout the entire earth as well as within the walls of the heavens gates.

 

When you just stop and take a moment just to worship him. Oh my God, the most beautiful things he says to you. He just fills you up in ways that no man can fill you. Nothing like this you can be experienced on earth. There is just nothing like the way this God loves us when we open ourselves up to him and just WORSHIP. Oh, the beautiful whispers of a Father to his daughter.

Greg Olsen

"... Admit it, quit it and forget it...."

Some people think, when you open the door to a certain sin, and then overcome it, that you are completely free from that sin. Well, i guess that's possible for a selective few.


But, it's been my experienced, even after not having any activity with a certain sin that this flesh rears up every once in a while. Does that mean I'm still controlled by my sinful desires? NOPE! It only means I have opened myself up to a temptation, which resulted in me training my flesh to like and... in some cases, to desire or become addictive to a specific sin. So when I retrain my flesh to stop participating and enjoying certain pleasures, like sex, in particular homosexuality, my flesh will from time to time crave what I have rejected. Why? Because the flesh, the sin that I have opened myself to, will crave to do what is contrary to what is right (Romans 7:14-25).

That is why I have to beat my flesh into submission in order to do what's right (1 Corinthians 9:27). In other words, just say NO!


JUST BECAUSE I DESIRE SOMETHING, DOESN'T MAKE IT WHO I AM, OR MAKE IT RIGHT. The nature, or the desire of sin still equals to sin. So just say no. As Jesse Duplantis once said, "... admit it, quit it and forget it." That's right. Say no and move on.

This Is Senseless

Dag! That one string. When you had the privilege to share your story with a woman who is living the homosexual lifestyle. She was opened to having discussions, and you were anticipating those opportunities. But, only to later receive word that her life has come to an end. No words man. No words. 

Just motivation why we got to get these films right, and the Church needs to reach down deep inside of themselves and decide what is more important here. Lord Father give us the  strength to do this right. And vindicate so many who have been overlooked, stepped over and just left to carry too much by themselves. Open the Church's eyes and heart Father. This is senseless. Plain senseless. This is not Your way. It isn't! 

Our Story Coming To Film

4 women. 4 films. 4 Christ. https://youtu.be/-Z3UkABxWFM. Stay tune for more details coming soon.   

Toya Black

#Route2Film       #KambyManagementGroup      #ThroneRoomProductionz       #Psalmz    
#Feliciacrawfordministry      #Michellede      #ToyaBlack     #HerStoryAndHerStory

Fallen Into Place

The pieces are fallen into place. New music. New film. New book. And another new product line. God is good, when you are faithful.

To keep up and receive the latest updates, follow one or more of our social media pages or visit Kamby Management Group, LLC.

An upcoming music documentary that will tie back into the life I once lived (homosexuality). The 3 films above are music documentaries surrounding new music written by Felicia Crawford, who also once lived as a lesbian, and myself, expressing our struggles to live the homosexual lifestyle, and our battle to have a relationship with Christ. Following these 3 music documentaries is the finale featured film that will tell the full story from beginning to end - featuring music from George Williams, Michelle De (me), Felicia Crawford and other artists.



I've Been Racking My Brain

I've been racking my brain ever since this sister and I had this conversation yesterday. Trying desperately to remember the many events and conversations we had shared. Simply to remember her.

2 years I shared with this woman, and it is obvious in the manner which she spoke, and the details she shared, we were close. The time we spent together meant a lot to her because she recalled so much. I could hear the disappointment and confusion in her voice when she admitted she couldn't understand why we stopped communicating. I just dropped off the face of the earth with no explanation or good-bye. A pattern I would follow for many years to come after our friendship. And here she is sitting in my home, sharing my stories, joyful stories of my past that I can't recollect.

A little over 18 years ago, this woman and I played a significant role in each others' lives, and I'm upset because I only can draw upon one blurry memory. Then in my frustration I hear this gentle voice in the distance that caution me to not focus so much on our past, but be attentive to the reason God has brought us back together in the present and in our future. I get that.

Within hours since our conversation, which lasted over 2 hours, I have reached back out to my dear sister and apologized for how I wronged her, and my failure for messing up obviously what could have been a timeless great friendship. It was reassuring to me that she accepted my apology and reassured me she NOW understands. She has closure. Something I don't know if I will ever have because too many years have been lost to lost memories.

Facebook Post







An Individual Struggles With Committing Sexual Sin Against A Child - My Reaction....

I've seen the power behind allowing people to speak openly and honestly about their struggles. One individual comes to me each time the individual struggles with committing sexual sin against a child. I could easily refuse to listen and reject this person since I was a victim of sexual abuse myself. But, over the years, I often wonder if the man who sexual abused me had at least one mature person he could be transparent with, could that have spared me the years of pain, as well as other girls he later victimized?


The way I look at it, if I sincerely allow myself to listen to the sincere pleas for support by this individual, I have helped to prevent one, maybe several little boys or girls from becoming a victim.


Are we listening with the intent to help people to heal? Or, are our actions or reactions creating an atmosphere where more of our children will continue to be abused?


facebook.com/DeaidreNewbyMinistry/posts/1341479779301069.


#AccountabilityPartners #ChristLikeReactionToAllFormsOfSins

Felicia's Story - "Not right now Lord. I'm too busy having fun...."

"Not right now Lord. I'm too busy having fun," is what Felicia said to God, when he was calling her to leave the life she was living and return to him. At the time, Felicia was enjoying the homosexual lifestyle she was living. Although, she had admitted, she felt empty inside. She was angry with the results life had dealt her. She was tired of waiting on God to answer her prayers as she desired. And to a degree, the life which she chose to live, was meeting some of her needs.... Primarily, sexually.

But, at some point, the fun she was having, ran its course. It took the lost of her brother, her mother and one of her favorite aunts, before Felicia would come face to face with her reality, and her fate, if she continued the path she was living. Felicia had finally reached the end of herself and took a detour that would forever change her life.

Based on a true story, a documentary produced by Route 2 Films - coming soon. Executive Producers, Deaidre Newby and Felicia Crawford.

To listen to this entire video post, visit my YouTube page at https://youtu.be/UlWLg2YhO0E.

   https://www.amazon.com/author/deaidrenewby

To hear part of Felicia's story, visit kambymanagement.com/outreach-projects.html. To learn more about this upcoming project, continue to visit this blog page and follow us on social media.

    



#herstoryherstory #homosexuality #healing #deliverance #documentary #route2films #newfilmproduction #surrendering #basedonatruestory #comingsoon #gospel #christianity #NewfordMinistries #kambymanagementgroup #Godslove #lgbt