I've Been Racking My Brain

I've been racking my brain ever since this sister and I had this conversation yesterday. Trying desperately to remember the many events and conversations we had shared. Simply to remember her.

2 years I shared with this woman, and it is obvious in the manner which she spoke, and the details she shared, we were close. The time we spent together meant a lot to her because she recalled so much. I could hear the disappointment and confusion in her voice when she admitted she couldn't understand why we stopped communicating. I just dropped off the face of the earth with no explanation or good-bye. A pattern I would follow for many years to come after our friendship. And here she is sitting in my home, sharing my stories, joyful stories of my past that I can't recollect.

A little over 18 years ago, this woman and I played a significant role in each others' lives, and I'm upset because I only can draw upon one blurry memory. Then in my frustration I hear this gentle voice in the distance that caution me to not focus so much on our past, but be attentive to the reason God has brought us back together in the present and in our future. I get that.

Within hours since our conversation, which lasted over 2 hours, I have reached back out to my dear sister and apologized for how I wronged her, and my failure for messing up obviously what could have been a timeless great friendship. It was reassuring to me that she accepted my apology and reassured me she NOW understands. She has closure. Something I don't know if I will ever have because too many years have been lost to lost memories.

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