Why Is Homosexuality So Difficult To Talk About? Why Is It So Complex?

Why is Homosexuality so difficult to talk about? Because no one, especially those who live a homosexual life, wants to or don’t know how to or don’t know where to begin to address the complexities that surround such a lifestyle. It’s problematic because no one wants to really address its root cause or causes.

For some parents, there are two factors that play into why it is difficult for them to address the root cause of their adult child’s homosexuality.

1. FEAR. One of a parent biggest fear is to learn years after the fact that a family member, or a family friend, or even a stranger has molested their child, and the parent had no idea of the incident or incidents. For these innocent parents, this is like Nightmare on Elm Street. These parents were clueless about the things that were happening to their child. And now, years later, their child has opted to live out his or her same-sex attraction due to the traumatic experience of their molestation or other forms of abuses or neglect that has gone unaddressed. This is like a slap in the face, a sucker punch in the gut for parents who don’t understand their child’s lifestyle choice. It throws most parents into an emotional spiral because they are confused by their child’s choice and their hands are tied to do anything about it.
    
   So, for most of these types of parents, it's easier to choose not to rock the boat in an attempt to help their adult child who has succumbed to homosexuality as a coping mechanism. It’s just easier to avoid it, not talk about it, to look the other way, to not address their own as well as their child’s demons, their suffering, their pain, or their issues as it relates to childhood traumatic experiences. Yet, deep inside every parent, they want to know. But, FEAR prevents them from dealing with the underlying causes because no one wants to experience or deal with the pain that will surely follow. Either way, the parent is deeply wounded inside because they feel they have missed something. Resulting in them failing to protect their children from traumatic experiences that could have possibly been avoided if they were more attentive; if they saw and responded properly to all the warning signs. But, somehow, they missed it, and there is no way to go back in time to change or correct it. There is no easy way to fix it.
    
2. Well, to be honest, there is no easy way to express this second scenario as it relates to this next type of parents. In this scenario, there are two types of parents in this category.
   
   
   1. Parents who are aware that their child is being abused by a family member, family friend or suspect some person is harming their child, but does nothing to investigate or stop it. Maybe that parent was a victim themselves. Or because of the era in which that parent was raised has warped their minds so that he or she thinks that such predatory or abusive behaviors are normal, acceptable, ok. So, they do nothing to stop the trauma that is disrupting their child’s upbringing.
   2. Then there are those parents who are the perpetrators. They are the one that is victimizing their child – causing the physical and or emotional trauma against their child.
      
      
      In both of these cases, the vicious cycle that is created is to keep the actions of the perpetrator a secret. As a result, the innocent – the child, suffers because of the sins of all the adults involved – that is the perpetrator and those who are aware or witnesses the abuse. It is a common practice to pretend that the abuse is not happening and hope that the child will get through it – weather the storm. But, what is so weird about these two scenarios is that, when the child who was the victim turns out gay, or a lesbian, or bisexual, or transgender, no one seems to understand why. Why is that? It is because it’s easier to say, they were born that way. It’s the fault of genetics, which cannot be controlled. Then to say, it’s the father’s fault, who sexually abused his child for years. The fathers or other individuals who commit such acts are capable of controlling their proclivity behaviors, but they chose to act them out. Or it’s the mother who is part a contributor to, their child’s homosexual outcome because the mother failed to act, failed to be proactive, failed to protect or be combative on behalf of their child. Either way, the secret sins of a family member, family friend or stranger has led to the parents’ child to experience childhood traumas that created and the root cause of identity confusion and identity crisis, which most likely has led to same-sex attraction.

The factors that make homosexuality, complex is because (1) no one wants to be transparent and talk about truths. (2) No one wants to be held accountable for their part in their child’s lifestyle choice. Nor does the one practicing homosexuality wants to hold him or herself accountable for allowing their past to drive themselves into such a life. Those who are living this life don’t want to confront their past pains because it hurts too much. And for the few that have done so, it's not an easy path to take. In my case, I have experienced that most will deny your claims in one form or another. Depending on how much evidences are already public knowledge. Many will do everything they can to prevent you from obtaining your personal healing from your past, which, if you let it, can further perpetuate your pain and emotional uncertainties. Family members, some friends, and others may mock and criticize you for trying to properly deal with your past and block your efforts to confront the perpetrator if that’s what God requires you to do in order to obtain your healing. (Yes, people will continue to protect the perpetrator even long after the fact). For instance, for me, God encouraged and directed me to address my past childhood abuses primarily through my writing – books and social media. The backlash I received from some family members, and especially from THE CHURCH was ridiculous. Why such a reaction? Because when one person within a region is bold enough to speak openly about such matters and about those involved and the contributors, it inspires others (those who have remained silent for far too long about their family secrets) to act. Eventually, the boldness of one will cause a bandwagon effect, beginning a chain reaction that causes others to speak up, which leads to the exposure of people and their sins and bad behaviors. People don’t want that, including people in the Church. There is darkness all around us causing havoc in innocent people’s lives – inside and outside the Church. And God, a God of justice cannot allow it to continue as is. God’s word says one thing that God cannot do. GOD CANNOT LIE (Hebrews 6:18; Titus 1:2; Numbers 23:19; John 8:44). And because he cannot lie, he must respond to what he says about himself in his word.

“FOR ALL THAT IS SECRET WILL EVENTUALLY BE BROUGHT INTO THE OPEN, AND EVERYTHING THAT IS CONCEALED WILL BE BROUGHT TO LIGHT AND MADE KNOWN TO ALL” (Luke 8:17) For all those who are living a homosexual life, or questioning your sexuality, please note what is said in Luke – “EVENTUALLY”. Sooner or later, at God’s appointed time, our personal trauma will have its day in God’s Court of Justice. And in that season, God will do what is said at Luke and bring about your vindication and justice. He will expose things and bring about justice in his heavenly court against the perpetrator(s), those who knew and did nothing, and those who suspect and choose to look the other way. There is an accounting for all sins because God must respond especially to unrepented sins that violated your innocence. For the past 3 years, my own past had reached its climax in God’s heavenly court and things are right now being exposed and revealed that has been kept in secret for far too long. Unfortunately, more children over the years have been hurt by the same perpetrator that violated me because too many family members, friends, and others of the perpetrator did not warn the next victim of the danger. But, there will be an accounting for those acts too.

But, what God is most concern about is you and your healing. He is knocking and tugging at many of your all hearts, guaranteeing you that Justice is coming. Justice is coming. Don’t give up on him because your healing, your restoration, your Justice is coming.

So, is there hope for those children, who are now adults, and living a homosexual life due to their childhood traumatic experience? YES! God is a God of justice, and we have to be consciously aware of that fact. And because of his justice, every living being must one-day answer for all sinful acts they have committed. Now, to us who were victims of the perpetrators, it may seem that God isn’t answering. He is not answering our outcries for justice. Therefore, he doesn’t care. Or, he doesn’t see. And even for some, you may have dismissed God altogether. Believing there is no way there can be a God after all you have been through and experienced. Take comfort in my words and rest to sure that God is at work on your behalf. He will bring about a fair hearing and justice on your behalf at his appointed time. He has seen all the injustices that were done to you. He saw every act, and he responded with great anger. But, God is a God of love. So, his acts of justice must also encompass his love. Which is why God allowing time for the wrongdoer to expose his or her own sin, get the help they need, repent and completely abandon their sinful behaviors. Either way, in God’s due time, God chooses the right time to bring your case to its completion and to bring about your vindication and justice. God will hold every unrepented culprit, unrepented individuals who were aware of such offensive sins and unrepented witnesses to such sins accountable for not acting righteously on your behalf. And for those who do repent and abandon such horrendous sins, they will have to live with the consequences of their sins that would naturally occur throughout their remaining days of their life for such sinful acts. God does not shield us from our wrongful decisions. We do still feel the effects of bad decisions, even after we have repented and  abandoned such behaviors.