"We've given up everything to follow you." Everything! Everything....

I am committed to this calling, no matter the sacrifice. For it has taken me 30 years plus to learn that no one, nor myself, have the right answers to bring out peace, security or happiness in their own lives. 

Like others, I tried to find and fill it through family, friends, marriage, lovers, my children, academics, myself and career. But I have finally found wisdom in the wise words of King Soloman - "everything is meaningless, like chasing the wind" (Ecclesiastes 1:14). For one can gain wealth, power and prestige, but "what do people get for all their hard work under the sun?" (Ecclesiastes 1:3) It all mounts down to one thing, it is like chasing the wind (Ecclesiastes 1:17).

My Pastor, David Chadwick said something today that brought me to tears. He quoted from Mark 10:28, when Peter said to Jesus, "We've given up everything to follow you." Everything! Everything. How profound is that? To give up chasing the whirlwind of life to follow Christ.

Yet, I have taken the same vow, made the same commitment to Christ as Peter. I've given up everything - my professional pursuits, my search for greater wisdom, lesbianism, walked away from many friendships - all in pursuit of one man - Jesus Christ.

Then my Pastor asked this question to the congregation as he quoted Peter in response to his sacrifices. "What will we get?" (Matthew 19:27) I never give any thought to such question before, but now I am pondering it. "Father! What do I get?"

It made me realize, after all is said and done, that I could lose many family members. Simply because of my willingness to be faithful to Christ - because I have agreed to fulfill my commission by writing this book, Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life. It was at that moment, it was like Christ himself came down from his throne and spoke directly to me as my Pastor read these words at Mark 10:29, 30. "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, FOR MY SAKE AND FOR THE GOSPEL, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life" (ESV).

I could not compose myself. Because at that moment, I knew, no matter what I have voluntarily given up or people or things I will lose during this season, God has already provided me something greater. How much I needed those words today to keep pressuring forward.

#InstrumentForChrist #MyLifeIsNotMyOwn #YouCanUseMe #IGiveMyselfAway #KingdomWork #Sacrifice #ToJesusIBelong