I can’t tell you right off the top of my head how long I’ve been freed from homosexuality. It’s been a long time. However, the duration of my freedom is of no value to me. What is of importance, is my repentance and that I have completely surrendered my life to Christ. Living faithful and committed to him.
I really don’t think about that life I once lived until a Christian, family member, a friend or a stranger’s reaction does something that triggers my past in some way. That trigger I call ASSUMPTIONS. The dictionary defines assumption as a belief, expectation, premise, or inference that something is accepted as true or as certain to happen, WITHOUT PROOF. Let me explain.
Some Christians and family members are hijacking my freedom to live free from my sin. Because their actions or suspicion assumes that I can never truly live free from homosexuality.
Case in a point: a Christian sister and I are friends on social media. We communicate often through email, but have never had a face-to-face encounter. Initially, it just never came up. After developing a friendship through email and social media over several months, this sister says to me one day, “We got to get together soon.” Shortly after that, that sister schedules a meet and greet. The day of our meeting she cancels for personal reasons. Okay, no biggie right. Some time after, she rescheduled. Again, right before we are supposed to meet, she cancels. This became a pattern with this sister. Eventually, when she made a request to meet again, I didn’t bother to reply.
Another scenario. A Christian sister and I met at church. Our personality gravitated toward each other. At each meeting, she would always initiate conversations between us two. This went on for weeks and we slowly became good friends. That led to us evidentially exchanging personal information. We continue our communication outside of church by means of email and eventually we became friends on social media. It was through my Facebook page that she learned of my past through the promotion of my book, Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life. Shortly afterward, although we remain friends on Facebook, all communication between this fast-growing friendship, has practically almost ceased.
To help the reader to understand the role that ASSUMPTIONS play and the damage it can cause, I need to reflect for a moment on the misconception that have infiltrated the LGBT population and has quietly made its way into some segments of the Christian community.
One PFLAG leader recently made claims in her “red flag” warning list to the LGBT community was this. It is impossible for anyone to live completely free from homosexuality. For those who claimed to be freed, they are not. They are only suppressing their desire.
Okay, let’s ASSUME that is true. Is that a bad thing? That a person who wants to be freed from sexual impulses has mastered a way to free himself or herself from living a way that he or she has concluded for themselves that it is not a right way to live. Do that dehumanize that person or makes them a “fake” because they have chosen for themselves that being gay or lesbian is no longer an idea life for themselves?
The ASSUMPTIONS by some within the LGBT community is the acceptance of the ideology that one is born this way. Yet, as defined by almost every dictionary, homosexuality is defined as an act, not what a person is.
Merriam Webster – a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex.
Wikipedia – a romantic attraction, sexual attraction between members of the same sex.
Oxford – a person who is sexually attracted to people of the own sex.
Cambridge – a person who is sexually attracted to people of the same sex.
Apple – characterized by sexual attraction between people of the same sex.
Again, an act, but not who you are. So, for a moment, let’s look at how we become who we are. Simple put – DNA (Deoxyribo Nucleic Acid). DNA is the blueprint of who we are. DNA creates RNA (Ribonucleic Acid). In turn, they form you and me. By default, all foetus or fetus is female. Until the SRY (sex-determining gene), also called TDF (testis-determining factor) turns itself on. If it turns itself on, then you have a boy.
Our DNA decides our height, weight, gender and hair, eyes, and skin color, etc., but what about our personality? How does our DNA influences who we choose to become as we grow and mature? Does our DNA pre-programs us to be a certain way, like gay or lesbian, despite what our gender indicates?
Well, let’s consider this. If you take every person who currently lives a homosexual life back in time, to the point, before this life choice became a part of who they are. Place them on an island by themselves, with no human influence. Would this kind of desire still exist or be an option they would consider?
I have never shared this fact with anyone, but as for me, homosexuality was introduced to me at a very young age. When a female family member introduced this life to me. So the seed was planted. Yet, it was not until I was in college that I was introduced to the word lesbian for the first time. Months later, I would learn what gay is. And a few years later, in my late twenties, I learned what lesbian is. It was not who I was. But it was something that was introduced to my environment at a young age. Throughout the course of my life, other incidents further fed into my curiosity through my senses. What I saw, heard and read concerning this lifestyle choice. And at some point, years of environmental influences became a reality for me.
If you want to be technical about it, what I am is a woman. That is who God created me to be. That is my DNA makeup. However, the society in which I was born into has dictated to me over the years, how a woman should conduct herself. What she should look like, smell like, and be like. As a woman, I can choose whether I want to buy into what society says is normal for a woman. Or, I can choose to be something else. Either way, it is a choice; a free will to choose my path despite how God created me in my mother’s womb.
One finally thought. We all need to be reminded of our Creator and His ways. To those Christians who have allowed the spirit of fear and suspension to creep into their Spirit, please stop it! You are robbing your Christian brothers and sisters of their right to operate freely in God’s house to worship as God has created them to be and you are opening a gateway for Satan to run rampant in the Church. I have left that life and closed that door. I certainly don't need reminders of a past that I no longer visit.
To my brothers and sisters that have found themselves still trap in the lifestyle of homosexuality. Those who know in their heart, you are looking for a way out. You want to be freed. There is room for you in God’s house. Jesus is standing at your doorway. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for you to invite him in. Just remember.
Psalm 139:13 Remember God knitted you together in your mother’s womb. And this life is not what He designed for you.
Jeremiah 1:5 Like Jeremiah, He knew you before you were in your mother’s womb. Before you were even born, He has set you apart.
Despite where you are; the ideology that is rampant in the LGBT community; the inappropriate behaviors and reactions by some Christians; GOD LOVES YOU. Let me say that again. GOD LOVES YOU. And in your heart, you know he does. Focus on that and find your way home. Not to man. Nor even to the Church, but to the Father. Just come home.
